Well, officially I have been on my weight gain meal plan for 12 weeks now, which is really long. Still got a way to go though, but my eating this week has been on form if I do say so myself. Particularly good. I think it’s because the fam have been away so I’ve been left to my own devices as to what I eat and when. I’ve hit my targets all week even though I had some incredibly dramatic break downs, and I’ve enjoyed most of my foods. Now the famo are back so I have less autonomy. I’m not looking forward to it but social eating is really important as I get too comfortable eating hidden away from the world where no one can see, eating meals at later and later times in the day. I’m kind of in a weird place for this post, so it might not be very good. I feel like I want to put it off but then it’ll linger in my head and that’ll be worse. But anyway, this is supposed to be about the good food things in the world, so I should get a move on.
Firstly, the good. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned them before but dorest cereals. I basically eat dorset stuff multiple times a day – I have three muselis, the low-fat flakes and like 4 different cereal bars to choose from at the moment, which is good. I don’t know, they are just always better than the other brands I think. Especially jordan’s and alpen. It’s difficult to tell though as their products are all natural ingredients and they aren’t full of added extras. They just seem good for you, even when they are quite high in fat (always due to nuts). Plus the cereal bars are just a million times better than the jordan’s ones. And obvs. alpen cereal bars are the worst. I think I’ve had a dorset bar everyday this week. The only problem is that because I measure my cereal by weight, not volume, the museli servings are really small as they are pretty dense. And because I have to divide my cereals into separate servings in little bags so it doesn’t freak me out too much, I can’t just add more if I want to. That’s my own issues though. Cereal is just too nice to be allowed to measure out when you’re hungry – you might underestimate because you feel greedy. Stupid head.
Next up are some veggies – butternut squash, aubergine and spinach. The mama doesn’t like these veggies much, so we never get to have them. This week though, I’ve basically had them at every meal. Aubergine is good, but I think spinach and squash are my absolute favorites. I’m fickle with vegetables so my favorites change all the time, but right now definitely squash and spinach. They both work in basically any meal and are super versatile and add really good texture. I never get to eat them really so it’s been great.
Also, I’ve had some particularly good super combinations this week in order to pack the calories in. The one I think most worth mentioning was porridge, banana, strawberries, blueberries, pecans, walnuts, almonds, honey, peanut butter and a little pot of natural yogurt evening snack. Oh my gosh was it the most lovely thing ever. Literally. I dream in calorie loaded porridge. It was spectacular. In general though, I’ve had a hell of a lot of loading to do this week and so there have been some strange combinations. Although these ‘snacks’ (if you can call them that) are really yum, it is really annoying. I still have to catch up on loads of calories just before bed as I just struggle to reach my targets during the day. And as my meals are getting later and later, I’m packing in 600/700kcal snacks at 1am and it’s not fun. I wish I could just eat my meals on time and hit my goals more consistently. It’s completely stupid. Ergh. If I didn’t eat this snack I’d be on a weight loss amount of food. Once I even had to eat a milky way double bar thing to make up my calories and chocolate it seriously hard for me (milky ways are basically my only safe chocolate right now – makes me dread tomorrow a little).
Next up is a special shout to lattes again because I love them. And also, I went to Caffe Neros and I got a spiced apple and pecan muffin and it was very scrummy. If you’re ever at Neros, you should all get one. Just saying.
Lastly, the best food I had this week wasn’t really a food. It was breakfast in bed. I know – so decadent! I made lovely breakfast, got the newspaper and curled up to crumpets, cereal and coffee. It was really nice, but entirely ridiculous. I felt so guilty for being so lazy afterwards, but in the moment, it was just really fun. Also, black coffee and the newspaper in bed are one of my greatest pleasures in life which I really miss (it started as an entire disordered habit to pass the time before I was allowed to eat. I could drink as much coffee as I liked, smoke as much as I like and had to read the entire newspaper and the G2 before I could shower so that I wasn’t ready for breakfast until as late as possible. I still ended up having to wait for a few hours before I could eat, but it felt like less time. So basically, I now have to just get up and eat – but then where’s the time for the newspaper?).
Now as my eating has been pretty much aces recently, I only have one reallybig bad. This is actually kind of sad. In my house, there is always Sunday roast. However, I still cannot eat potato, roast meat, vegetables covered in butter or oil, yorkshire puddings etc. – basically the entire roast. As the mama likes me to have food that kind of matches, I have my own roast alternative – 2 quorn fillets, brown basmati rice, carrots and runner beans. I dread Sunday roast because my dinner always ends up bland and horrible. And it’s every week. I wish so much I could eat roast, but it’s just so difficult.
I know these reports might be getting a little boring but I think they are quite good for me. They show me where the problems still are, but also just how far I’ve come. So sorry if they are a bit dull, but the process of reflection is helpful to me. I hope that’s ok.
Happy hallowe’en for tomorrow everyone! I have a whole day of pumpkin ahead (not even a lie, every meal is pumpkin based). I hope you have festive plans too!